I want to cry... I want to cry all over the place and about alot of things alot of the time. I'm constantly being tested, and one of these days, failing may in fact become an option. I hear alot of people tell me that happiness is a choice and if you choose to be happy, then you will... so why am I constantly feeling like this? I would never choose this... this sucks salty balls. I wish it were up to me.
And sometimes I wish I was like those crazy chicks that I see in the movies or on my campus, who, when they feel wronged, they do something about it... slash a tire, call them out on facebook, contact their parents telling them how horrible a person they are. But I guess I'm not tacky enough to do all that. All i do is sit back and wait for all the people who hurt me to get whats coming to them... but nothing ever happens. They all look happy as heck while I'm sitting here posting my feelings to a bunch of internet people I dont know.
This is why I really and truly hate emotions. all of them. I'm an extremely logical person and based most of my decisions off logical, reasonable data and results. So I hate feeling this way, or anyway because its illogical and definitely not condusive to anything, and is down right a waste of time. I wish humans had the choice on whether they wanted to live their live through emotions or through logic and reasoning.. I would have been choosen the latter. Because all else is wasting my time.
So I guess I'm stuck trying to figure out to deal with these emotions, I'd prefer they not exist... but since they do, i gotta find a way to make them go away as soon as possible because quite seriously they are more annoying than a a whiny drunk blonde in heels with a cowbell and a fur coat...